Trustful

School has started.
I have been to every class I am to take this semester.
In every class it seems like God has given me one girl I am to talk to and befriend.
To grow a relationship with and to bring them down the path to Jesus.
Each one is sweet and nice, they are all different, very different.
As I sit here and realize that, fear is entering and the lie "Am I worthy enough" is speaking.
It is not a lie actually - it is true. I am not worthy ever, because I am a screw up,  but God has chosen me to do this mission.
I have a yes in my heart and I am the perfect one for this mission and I take it with my heart and soul.

I still haven't bought my books and it seems like I won't be able to because the money isn't there. Still from what I know some of the books are in the library. So guess where I will be majority of the time? Library reading for the subject.
The money isn't even there to finish paying of the tuition that I own in two weeks.
I trust in the Lord though. I lay it down at His feet. He has called me to this school, called me to this subject.
He knows all I need.
He knew that Financial aid wouldn't give me enough, He knew what living with roommates would consist of. He knew what I would have to add extra bills into my list.
He knew I would have more mouths to feed - not only roommates but also my dinner with the girls, making more cookies for a bigger bsm this semester.
He knew this semester would be different and call for so much more.
So I trust in Him.

I trust Him in my sicknesses.
My whatever I have right now that is making me cough and feel weak.
My Ganglion cyst that is on my right hand, which is causing more pain since it is my main hand.
My tailbone, that is still bruised since I fell on it a month ago in Ireland.
The dizzy spells I randomly get once a day.
I know that He knows this is all going on and He sees it. I know He is here giving me strength to keep going, keep walking, to keep writing and to keep serving.

I trust Him with my heart.
He knew how much all of this would take.
To mentor the girls.
To talk to the new friends I am making.
To give everything I have to those I am living life with.
My heart in the area of wanting marriage, in the waiting.
My heart for wanting to be back in Ireland.
My heart for those that are hurting, in pain, and sick.
My heart to become more sensitive.
My heart in the art of breaking that will most likely be happening this semester.
He will guard it, He will make a bigger one, He will be so gentle with it.

He is never going to fail me.
He is so good.
He is an amazing Father.
He is a mighty King.
He is an awesome God.