So it has been a while since I wrote this is from a while ago maybe 3 weeks ago.

Have you ever just had those moments in your walk with Christ that you are literally feel you can not go any longer, the lies of the enemy consuming you, taking over your breathing, your thoughts and just the truth you hold on to.
Yeah I have those days about once a year, well hit mine already.
By that Sunday evening, I was so heavy, so much on my heart, in my mind, my soul was breaking.
As I was falling asleep, exhausted from a day of working, the lies started consuming.
The ideas that the enemy was putting in my head- which I was agreeing with.
I was saying yes to just forgetting this walk, to going out with my new coworkers- party and drink. Have some fun- even if it led to sex. I would just go "live life".
I heard the enemy telling me if I say yes, He will give me right away a guy.
He would make life fun and easier.
I was falling and saying yes very quickly.
I fell asleep.

Woke up the next morning at 5am to get ready to go to prayer- I know to go to prayer after what happened the night before?
But something was telling me get up - go get ready and drive the drive to church- SO I DID.
I sat there the whole time, I couldn't pray or talk, I felt so heavy, scared, lonely, torn, horrible.
10 mins before the end of the elders who I really love and admire looked at me and asked "Mary what is on your mind?"
I told the group that was there - about 6 or 7 people- what happened the night before, where I am in my walk, and how I am feeling.
They sat me in the middle and just started praying over me.
Prophecy after prophecy came pouring out of their mouth- truth of what I needed to hear, God telling me my heart, telling me my identity, the promises he has promised me- just everything I needed.
Isn't it just amazing? God is so beautiful and so amazing! How could I ever contemplate saying no to Him and turning to the world?

Well He kept showing His love toward me after prayer. I went to plano to go to the thrift store to find old wood frames. It was closes for another 15 mins and so I drove to the neighborhood streets.
The night before I was really desiring wood- so I could do my arts and crafts.
Well as I drive up to a stop sign in the neighborhood I hear "look to your right". I did AND THERE IT WAS WOOD!!! I turned in to grab it put it in my trunk, drove a few houses down and there was more! Then drove down a few more and THERE WAS MORE!
I HAD A COUPLE OF HUNDRED DOLLARS IN WOOD!

HE IS SO GOOD TO HIS CHILDREN! SO GOOD TO US!
SUCH AN AMAZING FATHER!
SUCH AN AMAZING PROVIDER!
Love, joy, wood, and ideas!

OH MAN HE IS JEHOVAH JIREH
PROVIDER!!!

AMAZING!